theology?

Why does theology have to be so deep and difficult to figure things out? Why can't we just read Scripture and then we have our theology? I mean, technically, that is what we do, but for some reason people can't seem to agree on what they have read.

There are some things in theology that have been ingrained into my head, so when I go to evaluate and look at what I am discussing, I know I will not change my mind on it. Other areas are not as firm in my head to agree with the way I grew up. This means I am changing the way I believe on some things and not in others.

However, this does not make things any easier when trying to find a church that believes the same way as I do. I understand that I am most likely not going to find a Pentecostal church that believes the way I am changing my views on children and ministry toward children. Yet, I know that there are churches out there that will be okay with the fact that I do believe in the moving of the Spirit in a Pentecostal manner.

Then, one of my biggest things that are ingrained into me is the view on eternal security. Even 20 years ago when my parents started going to an Assemblies of God church, it happened because they were looking for a church that did not teach "once saved, always saved." Now, when I had to evaluate this for my theology class last semester, I tried to have an open mind on things (although, I'm pretty sure I had some shocked faces at different parts of Calvinism's points). Yet, when I really got into it, my biggest qualm was with the term "elect." Therefore, I had to calm down that uneasiness before saying that I would agree with Calvinism or Arminianism. I even looked at the A/G position paper on "Security of the Believer" to see what the A/G believes about the subject on paper. In the end, I could not agree with Calvinism and decided I am an Arminian.

Now, I am looking at my view of children due to my Children's Ministry class and I cannot agree with the conversional approach to children's ministry. I believe that Christian nurture is one of the best ways to raise children, but it should not be left solely to the parents. I believe that the faith community needs to come alongside the parents and help nurture and raise the children of faith, which is the covenantal approach.

However, the covenantal view is more associated with Reformed traditions, at least to my current knowledge. I keep trying to find the idea of combining this covenantal approach and my Arminian beliefs, but it doesn't seem to be happening in a church somewhere. I was looking at the Evangelical Presbyterian Church earlier and kept thinking that it looks like it might be something to check into. But the more I was digging for answers (in other words actually go take a look at the Westminster Confession of Faith) I realized that it is still a Calvinist based belief system.

Now, this does not mean I am completely ruling out churches that believe in Calvinism. I am attending a Reformed church on Sunday evenings. But at this moment in time when I am searching for a church (and in some ways a church tradition), I would like to be able to find a church that would uphold similar beliefs to what I hold. I am going out and trying new church experiences! And I love it! I need it right now in my life, but sometimes I still cling to the concept (which was ingrained in my head) of finding a "home" church, going regularly, and getting involved. I know it is a time of breaking a lot of habits and patterns from the past, but it isn't an easy task, even in church decision making. I guess not finding a church that agrees with my beliefs is a good thing, so that I continue on this little journey of faith.