Spiritual Disciplines?: Discipline?

I realized something today about spiritual disciplines.

Before I get there let me start by saying, I suck at spiritual disciplines. I'm not very disciplined in general. Yet, especially, spiritually.

I suck at reading Scripture on a regular basis. I've only ever done a true fast once. I'm alright with prayer, but more as I go along with my day, not in a set aside time.

Here's what I realized today. I grew up hearing that I'm not supposed to be ritualistic in my faith. I learned that it's all about the relationship and if it's "something I have to do" it's wrong. I understand that desiring to do something and having to do something are two different things. However, disciplines are ritualistic by nature. So, if I'm supposed to not be ritualistic in my faith how am I supposed to engage in the disciplines? And if I'm not engaged in spiritual disciplines, then how am I to truly grow in my faith? I'm not saying that one doesn't grow spiritually if they are not practicing spiritual disciplines. I  have seen growth in my life without being well-disciplined. Yet, I know that they can intertwine one with the transforming power of the Holy Spirit quite well.

Obviously, by becoming Anglican, I am not against religious ritual. It has been truly invigorating to engage Christ liturgically. I'm just confused by the staunch difference between my upbringing (not necessarily my parents, school, or church, specifically) and the reality of growth in my Christian life. That's all I've got. Just thoughts flowing in my head. Maybe now that I've realized it's okay to view disciplines as ritual, I'll be better at them. Lord, let it be so.

fast...: Did it ever end?

Last summer I wrote a post about a secular music fast. Most of my friends new about my fast from secular music. To the point that some haven't noticed that I have been "off" the fast for quite some time. At some point during the fall, I felt that I could listen to secular music again. However, I haven't listened to much secular music since my fast was over. I got to a point where I didn't think I would be so soon: listening to mostly only Christian music. There are moments where I want to listen to my playlists from before last summer. Or country music. Or just random good stuff. Yet, mostly I only listen to Christian music. To the point that my friends don't even realize that my fast from last summer is over. I was supposed to write a few blogposts about songs that have impacted me. I only wrote one, but I started others. I never finished those. Thus, the point of this post is to preface the resurrection of those posts.

Happy Holidays

Holiday seasons are some of the most interesting times of the year. From a Christian perspective, they should be the time of the year that we are most closely drawn to Christ. Yet, do they not always end up being just the opposite? When with our families, stress and tempers flare up and foul attitudes follow shortly after. Personally, it is also a time where my personal devotion time--which is already pretty faulty throughout the year--becomes almost non-existent. Different family obligations or busy schedules get even more in the way of my personal interactions with my Savior. This results in me being even more frustrated in family interactions because my spirit is in a sub-par place. Yet, the Holy Days of Christmas and Easter, where I have spent my time of Advent and Lent trying to draw closer and find more meaning in the seasons. Yet, the season ends up ruined due to the complicated relationships that we were born into. The holidays should be joyous and happy and draw us closer to our Father, yet once we get with our fathers and mothers and siblings and such it makes it much more difficult to center our time on the One who we celebrate during the holidays. Backwards, isn't it? I guess such is human life.

Father, help me to keep you at the center and focus on You during this holiday season. Let the next nine days of Christmas be spent celebrating your first coming as I await in this second Advent your second coming for Your people. Holy Spirit, bring the peace and aid that I need to do so.

Written on Tuesday, 27 December 2011 on the plane on the way back to Chicago.