I realized something today about spiritual disciplines.
Before I get there let me start by saying, I suck at spiritual disciplines. I'm not very disciplined in general. Yet, especially, spiritually.
I suck at reading Scripture on a regular basis. I've only ever done a true fast once. I'm alright with prayer, but more as I go along with my day, not in a set aside time.
Here's what I realized today. I grew up hearing that I'm not supposed to be ritualistic in my faith. I learned that it's all about the relationship and if it's "something I have to do" it's wrong. I understand that desiring to do something and having to do something are two different things. However, disciplines are ritualistic by nature. So, if I'm supposed to not be ritualistic in my faith how am I supposed to engage in the disciplines? And if I'm not engaged in spiritual disciplines, then how am I to truly grow in my faith? I'm not saying that one doesn't grow spiritually if they are not practicing spiritual disciplines. I have seen growth in my life without being well-disciplined. Yet, I know that they can intertwine one with the transforming power of the Holy Spirit quite well.
Obviously, by becoming Anglican, I am not against religious ritual. It has been truly invigorating to engage Christ liturgically. I'm just confused by the staunch difference between my upbringing (not necessarily my parents, school, or church, specifically) and the reality of growth in my Christian life. That's all I've got. Just thoughts flowing in my head. Maybe now that I've realized it's okay to view disciplines as ritual, I'll be better at them. Lord, let it be so.
